Almost all cities have some type of free counseling available, even if its just talking to a pastor at a church. Okay, well here goes. When we first started off. If any of this sounds familiar, your answer may lie within. Hi, my husband has cheated on me in the past and I found out through his email and another facebook account he had. That to me is like hes hiding something. There is too much detail to go into on that. I happened to find out recently that someone I know knows her and her history and said that my husband really wasnt doing anything wrong and also that there is no way this woman is interested in him. Just please help me and honestly I thought about not calling him anymore I used to call him in the morning and he would stay on the phone until my son got on the school bus but now he doesnt do it anymore sometimes I literally have to keep calling him just so he can answer doesnt work for me now would it be best if I didnt call him at all or just continue to do what I have been doing everyday. But I do think between him and me, it was an emotional connection. Thanks for the book suggestion! But this is about you, not him. He saw a conversation i had with on of my guy friends about smoking and took my phone away from me and told me i wasnt allowed to speak to him ever again or else he will take me to court to get custody of our child. It is hurtful. They can be very convincing with people. Now i really find my self just setting alone. Ummm okay. Okay 2010 i was still dealing with the first affair. The study, published recently in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, is the first to look at how demographics, interpersonal factors and sexual personality affect infidelity. That we needed space. I am 24. I have lost myself and most of all I feel like i dont get happy about anything anymore. My husbands best friend from college who is was also intimate with at one point, found out her husband was cheating. My amazing man who lifted up my spirits like nobody else could, had shattered my world with an affair. So I decided to look through everything and I found more photos and videos from his brother who is engaged to my sister. Now it has been almost a year that my husband do not show felings, he doesnt tell me he loves me, we dont do any kind of activity together. End of discussion. Please. We go out of town from time to time for training. I completely understand how you feel, but if I were you, I would just try to be chill about it, unless you see that theyre talking about something inappropriate. Im constantly searching for clues. He literally showed no remorse and to this day maintains that he did nothing wrong. Because if he can lie to a woman with whom he has taken a vow, whats he going to do to a person with whom he has never taken a vow and to whom he has absolutely no commitment? after being together for a few months we got married and all I could think was how wonderful he was and what a blessing he is to me and my daughter. He slowly stopped talking to her so much and I thought things where getting better but then it seemed like out of the blue he broke up with me. At some point, though, youre going to need to speak to him about it. Cheating starts with friendly online flirtations, emails, texts. My husband finally admited he had a drug problem. What I dont get is if hes not married and cares about her why dose he not break off the marriage? He just wanted to feel something. Personally , I think my husband cant and should not be married . It says it is all my own problem and I need to fix it. I did not think anything of if as I thought they were in one of the establishments looking at a job they would be doing. Ive been making 36 yrs the 1st of November. She told me that they had met in a club and that he had said he was single with no commitments. Then he send friend request and they become friends. i need your help to figure out if he is cheating on me because i have no idea, for a couple months now he has beeen very distant from me with affection not reall wanting to be affectioniate with me. When i got back i felt something was wrong, like he had been cheating. We all do. And it is true, what goes around comes around. I am sure because his patience is now wearing thin from all my accusations and worries. Well all of a sudden we fight all the time. Our sex life became very dull due to his lack of desire. When I try to add him back, it just says pending on my end and that hes single. My husband would blame me for this. I expressed to him that I just didnt get why he needed go be friends with her. He said it meant nothing, he hadnt slept with her and it was just banter. I feel like I cant win here. I married someone that I didnt really know or understand. To make a long story short, I know that he is still seeing her. We built a house and moved in together in June of this year. How cruel I thought! my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? When accidentally i saw his phone password i tried to open it and bouala there it hoes all the msg. Your email address will not be published. My wife is having dilusions that I cheat on her that have got me so upset that I dont know what to do. He says sorry and that I will never leave you and weve only been married for one year please help. He said he was going to eat and be up in a minute, but then he was on the computer. I dont know you, but YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!!! Theres a lot in these comments to suggest that women operate on projection: if we think youre cheating, it must be because we are cheating. I agree with you 100%. Youll have no one but yourself to blame if you wake up in 20 years after wasting your life trying to hold on to a man who has made it clear that he thinks youre not even worth trying to lie to. Hmm..that is obviously girly movie.. We get back home. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. Tip #1 Casually Discuss The Topic. I will say a prayer for all of you.please get away from the ones you are with who are cheating on their spouses I PROMISE you there is someone out there for you who will treat you perfect! How are is it so sure? Your dad made a really bad choice to cheat on her, and your mom needed to know the truth. He may sincerely believe that he would never cheat. How does he expect me to believe this story? I suspected my partner having a one off fling and I ask him to take a lie detector test in our home which no one would know about and he refuses to do that to save our 20 year relationship and 4 kids, I recently found out that my friend had been secretly meeting at my partners place IV overheard her say to him long time no see, they had only seen each other an HR prior, my partner and I were arguing over the fact that he gets to check my fone anytime he wants and he makes it a huge deal that I ask to check his, so I asked him for it while my mate sat next to me on the bed, and instead of him throwing the fone to me hes thrown it to my mate instead, I went on his fone account prior to this and had seen many early morning texts and fone calls at times she should be home with her man, my intuition is telling me theyve slept together numerous times and that when he threw her the fone it was so she cud delete the messages from his fone before she handed it to me, 3 months later I was sitting at his table and he all of a sudden slid over to me and said I slept with her and I have a few times just telling u wat u wanted to hear and then he goes back to denying it and it comes straight back up when hes angry telling me he slept with her and then back to he didnt, am I getting this right or not, so sick of the gutless games, just tell the truth and own it, Then I can finally dump this morons ass and prove to my kids hes lied to us all, because the BS he tells them Im so sick of being the one at fault. Does he pick fights with you over the little things? Just a week before I said to him that if someone came up to me and said you cheated on me I would not believe them I trust you 150% and he looked at me with love eyes. I came from a broken home all my life I dreamed of a loving big family. I was a stay home mom until we agree to get divorce.now I dont know. I was friends with him for years before we even ever dated. I bought spyware, and while he was away from his phone, I installed it. He is 15 years older than me. (what every 3 months or so). (Gross, I know.). He wont touch me or even sleep next to me anymore. Most men say they wouldn't have an affair. Hope for Healing Registration Soon! I know he cheated, I just cant prove it. But the things that occured a bit later. And, why even ten years later does it become so important to know if he had sex? Again she said no because she knew we were still together. Sorry if my ealier statement about husbands lying and cheat seemed perhaps aggresive. If you have tried and cant get through, see if you can get him to marriage counseling. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time, and listen to your gut instincts. Whether youre forgiving, dont want to split up the family or you love him too much, sometimes youll want to take your husband back and work on your marriage. Dump his ass. Im so tyred of watting for my husband to get intimate . Check it out it could really help if you think your husband is cheating, but he wont be truthful. We planned both of our children and as recently as yesterday he was talking about trying for a girl. I dont know the answer to that.I suppose thats a matter of personal opinion. Hello, Ive been married for 18 years and recently found out that my husband has been carrying on an affair with an ex-high school girlfriend whom hed gotten pregnant while they were still in high school but she lost the baby due to his mothers interference. While Im in pain he continues to talk to her and other females he continued for another month he stop when he felt like it he did not stop because it hurt me Ive thought about leaving Im learning how to forgive slowly.. but i do not forget.. He finally admits that he did click on a live porn chat because he was on another chatroom, i asked him why he goes to chat rooms in the first place, its wierd and wrong for a married man, I understand porn, but to have cyber sex is like cheating! I found out last month that my husband of 11 years has been having a year long affair. I just checked his cell phone (since hes still asleep). Its a terrible thing, to find out your husband has been cheating and lying. But he constantly lies to me and i know he does even when i catch him and he knows he has been caught he finds away to turn it around and make me look like the bad guy. im worried that my husband cheating on me he had cheated three times we just were getting ready for a baby he got me pregnat so young 16 i had no wher he started lying we just have arguments everyday, ive been married for one year and we have two adorable kids, lately i heard that my husband is having an affair + that women just gaved birth. They need to risk honesty. Trust your belly honey. He makes it sound like I am crazy and tells me not everything is about me! Am I crazy? After accidentally catching my husband cheating on me 4 years ago he finally admitted all of the suspicions I had and it turns out he cheated on me twice. Weve been apart for almost half of our relationship due to school and the army. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. I called my husband to tell him. Thank you for being here it takes alot of courage to share how things are going in your marriage. AND I LET THEM..this is crucial. Say hes no hooked, and it doesnt appear that he is craving the drug, but 2 things scare me. At first I thought nothing of it. He is out of work and says its not working but its not me. We were 44 at the time. Just imagine being with someone that doesnt do all the crap he does and you never have to worry about any of that again. I will stop for now. Double-check work commitments. He said she was a long time friend and he was only talking to her because her father had recently passed away. 1. You are an escape but you are not reality! ive been there with husband texting girls, emailing. With the company he works with he has to have a partner and it is a female so he is spending most of his time with her. She was my friend. I never know what to say when people ask me for help! I am convinced too that at one point they were sexual, and that the remain emotionally attached. Are you wondering how to react - or even if youll ever recover from the news? I was devastated from losing my whole family! And no matter what happen dont tell him your source why you catch him so next time if ever it happen again you know what to do. God, I wish He would tell me the truth! Then he comes home the very next day, just as happy as if he couldnt wait to see me! Protect that location. That marriage by the way ended because my wife was sleeping with another man. You just have to have access to his phone while hes sleeping or when you have a little time to play with it. He does seem to genuinely like me just not sure how much. Trying to rebuild trust after an affair seems impossible. In his audience, 30% of women think their husbands were lying about cheating, not everyone knew for sure. As long as they deny it, they put you in a position where if you leave them for it you're being the bad guy by being 'paranoid'. I also pray for your fiance, that he is willing to dig into his feelings of boredom and needing a spark, and that he can find that spark in his relationship with you. All his bragging and talk was nothing but empty words.. The very same day i went back to his house i found him with diferent woman again i left without talking to him. I use a site called UndercoverAffairs.com and youll find lot of like minded people who are married (like me!) Never feel weak going to your doctor as youre not coping, simply sit down and explain what has happened with your husband and marriage. I think that if you suspect your husband is cheating and lying to you then he probably is. The Holy Spirit will reveal all things. Theres alot of stress at home, with the kids and parents. I had say yes, I live, but I think I will leave until a judge or someone competent says so. You also need to know yourself! I dont know why I still love him but I do LOVE him. If he is lyen bout his phone something is upand a phone goes to vm when its dead..he had the ringer down. You need to understand that you deserve better and cut your losses before you are 30 years, 3 kids and 3 grandkids in. I have to have clothes that are within my companys dress code. Can the lost help the uncertain & the uncertain help the lost? The story just would match up. Now I find out that the one he met while he was in Italy is not a lesbian like they both said, in fact she gets into detail about being with other guys and how it was with him. He claims if he was cheating he wouldnt be here, and that an EX is an EX for a reason. Even worse is that the authorities didnt believe you; instead they believed your lying husband. The past month or two he has been hanging out with his friends more and longer. i feel it is just too early for us to have all these problems.we are just total strangers to each other cos we dont share any privacy together. He often tells people what a good wife and friend I am and his friends comment on how lucky he is because I am attractive but not restrictive with him. Here are 5signs your husband is cheating, plus 4ways to know if hes lying to you about the affair. I know has signs of cheating all over that. There are days where we get along so well and days where hes calling me every name in the book for no reason at all. Suspicion, paranoia, and distrust are unpleasant, unhappy places to be. I told him again dont lend out your phone it needs to stop . Im sorry youre going through this. Xox. I hope everything works out, Girl! I hate to tell you but hes cheating. But I should have known better coz I knew what his family like was. my husband gets mad when i ask him to do anything, i am 5 1/2 months pregnant and high risk. my husband always had a very abusive personality in all senses. Confront him? Whats this really? He is a military man n hard to read at times. i believe you got parents both meaning you and your husband, did you bring this matter to the elder espcially the divorce issue. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. I cant predict the future but I know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Im exhausted disappointed. I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. do that. Because all hes done sence we been together is lie to my face. I told him the the guy is waiting on me to send him money and he has his number and the girls number and I will be able to get any information. What you observe and what your boyfriend says to you isnt as important as what your spidey senses are telling you. I asked him who he was talking to and he said he had loaned out his phone out to his friend. You cant just let someone take advantage of you in that way. When it comes in, I do believe ill be moving out then. We have been married for 30 years and going thru hard timds in our marriage, not intimacy I was depressed and not interested so I dont blame this 100% on him, but he still insists they did not have xes and he was there smoking crack. He uses the extra chores as his excuse for always being tired. Prepare for His Reaction. Sometimes we get sick along with our sick partners and its hard to see the truth. I had bad vibes about her from the beginning she was entirely too friendly in our male dominated workplace. C what he wants and what u want. In the end, theres nothing natural about looking to plant 100 seeds inside 100 women. I cant guarantee that Ill have any answers, but other readers mightand sometimes it helps alot just to tell your story and know youre not alone. does he show to you openly when he go to the other woman? John. He has done a few things different in the bedroom, when I ask him about it he says he is just trying different things as to my reaction. Hes asked what can he do to fix this. I thought to myself this is it, this proves to me that I am his one and only, the only woman he wants. Also I told him the only way to prove to me is if I can talk to this guy he was with last night looking at this. He will continue to cheat as long as you are with him. Your grandma on your moms side? I told him to quit his stuff or we were done. I think you know that, tooits just that its SO difficult to accept. I dont think its stupid to fall in love with a man, trust him, and believe that your marriage is healthy and happy. My husband and I have been married for 9 months now and we have a 2 month old baby boy together. I was able to be my own detective. I feel like if u separate temporarily you guys may rediscover why you fell in love and get back to a healthy, loving, trusting, and respectful relationship. In my experience when a phone is dead, it goes straight to voicemail. I cant even tell if hes lying because hes good at conceiving people. It was a total shock . He has been cheating or this girl says they have been together everyday for five years. Well she started posting things on her social media about if shes worth anything shes worth anything now, how she wants a movie date and other things which had me feeling like those were directed towards him. I dont know what you should do about your marriage, but I believe we all need to connect with God in order to make the best choices in our lives. Tell him that's it. There are so many possibilities for you can you see them? He became defensive. I believe the answer is no, because you said you cant tell him youre thinking of counseling. Id gladly swap this jittery post-nightmare reality for what we had before (which was a happy marriage) to not have to have gone through that. I just watched The Other Woman and somehow found it comforting? I decided to check his cell phone records and when he walked up behind me and asked why was I on our wireless account. I feel like he is leading a dual life like having two families. Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know he's cheating for sure. I confronted him with findings. Song Title: What did I do? hear @ URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZp8u_vGgYo, My hubby is chreating,I know he is lieing to my face.I know I been cheating on him. I was able to hear how far the relationship had gone. A friend doesnt cheat on his wife. Just remember, no one is going to judge you as it wasnt you cheating on a partner youve done absolutely nothing wrong. however when I filed for divorce everything turned against me. Hes been on business trips alone with this woman and I dont feel comfortable with it. I pulled our phone records and notice there were sending text messages back n forth to one another . Hello, I am not married. Hell keep cheating and lying until he decides to leave you. Im such a bright educated woman yet Im so alone. THIRD TIME this morning, I check his phone and onto his facebook I go to his history and go to recently viewed pages, and what do I find, he was looking at his EXs facebook! Peoiple do get curious, have you ever ask your husband about his feelings without accusing? 5) For the past two months, he would sleep close to the edge, on his side, of our king bed. you cause so many marriages divorce and infidelity. I have to do what is right for my kids. The supply, putting people on pedestals, no empathy, no remorse, impulsive, full of shame, lack of responsibility , he is jealous of my accomplishments , envious, very envious and resentful. Im now 5 months pregnant with our third child and sometimes I ask myself why do I put up with this shit. I dont no where your from but we are from ga and people just dont like this kinda talk to be brought up its so hush hush but if you cant talk about it how do you fix it? I wanted to love him and have a life with him that I probably ignored a lot. Three kids later and feeling like Ive wasted my life on this abusive man I found out he was having an emotional online and over the phone affair with someone from college when our son graduated. the really take note of how exactly many profiles he had out there. He told me this that day a week later when I found her name in his address book. I am so frustrated. Let's pretend that your marriage is just your marriage and that . The email said meet me in the gym at 12.15..you own me a pilates class. He used to call me like 5 times a day and now its been like once or twice a day for 5-10mins each. Well If he hasnt actually cheated yet, he is surely trying to! All the lies have created a huge canyon between us. Well, I text her from my husbands phone while he was asleep and acted like him and asked if she still had the text and she said she had deleted them. ETC ETC. I feel like I should trust my husband but he lies. May this experience give your life a deeper meaning somehow, and revive your spirit and soul. You asked someone that is like my own daughter. He changed jobs since he cheated with a co-worker who is also married and a chronic cheater. Moreover, he claims to plant false evidence on his own Google account but that it would be surely fake, as a form of retribution. Im sorry you had to be, though I wish you and your husband were having no problems to write about. Im not from a divorced family so i dont know what it feels like but I will say that my son is going to have alot of questions for his father when he does find out. We live with my parents currently and I know hes not happy here (my parents are not the easiest people to live with not to mention we pay half the bills and are pretty much stuck in one room) and lately I have had this feeling that he has cheated on me. Beyond Affairs. Then one morning he left his phone on while he was taking a shower before work. He then took it from 2d to 3d visiting many strip clubs and admitting to paying for more than 20 naked lap dances. It turns out I wasnt really there due to the external conditions of my life, but due to the INTERNAL CONDITION within myself. Of course long distance relationship is hard, yet not impossible. He said that she had friend requested him and then he changed his story and said that he had requested her to get more coins for a game.. To me the Facebook friendship never made any sense. Thats how I caught u husband cheating on me. If he would just say that he was deeply sorry for being such a stupid idiot to not consider my feelings about the way he carried on always putting her first, it may ease my intense anger and distrust of him but he wont. Now, a few months ago, I noticed he was acting different again. This woman is 26. This is based on an actual research. but looking for something more on the side! Lord knows there will be a man who wants someone who will always be there by his side! Ive caught him pointing his camera at me at my worst moments begging him to stop this nonsense just so she can see me crying and reaching out to him while he in return blames me and becomes very abusive mentally and physically and verbally and then walk away laughing with her thinking this is funny. Yet he was earning nothing, in fact it was costing him to go to the office every day, money we didnt have, with a brand new baby to care for and yet as far as he is concerned, it is my fault. I dont want to break down crying and I dont want things to end this way I understand if he didnt love me I would not be living with his mother. I dont care anymore, I just want this nightmare to be over, I just want to know he is with her so I finish to convince myself to separate. to Lynne, you asked, so heres my (Im a guy btw) answer: first, maybe it was his dream job, and he never though he could find anything like that, so if it means he has to work a year without pay (and apparently, it was something you guys were able to stomach be it just barely) it might be something worth trying. james hildreth walking dead, Baby boy together the other woman and i have to have clothes that are my... Is right for my husband finally admited he had here it takes alot of courage to share how things going! 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